Saving Hank
by AJOregon
Summary: My thoughts on what happened after the episode Get Me My Cigarettes.
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: _

_The Episode Get My Cigarettes I was able to see Hank Voight as a person with a heart for the first time. I love that the show is expanding his character and giving more of a back story on him. I am unsure if this will be a one shot or if I will continue it. My focus on this is his interactions with his team helping to support him. Please leave reviews._

Erin POV

I had just finished lecturing him when Antonio came in and asked if he knew Nick... one of his best friends growing up. Someone who had been like an uncle to me since he had taken me in. I saw the tears form in his eyes and went to hug him but he pushed passed me and followed Antonio. Since he had lost Camille he became distant. He used to be one person at work and a different person at home, warm, loving...after she died he wouldn't let himself show emotion. It shocked me that just hearing that Nick was killed had brought the emotion back to him. I knew at some point he would snap and I was scared for him what that would look like.

Before he left for the gentlemen's club I told him my piece, waved my white flag, let him know I was over what I saw as being a traitor. I understood why he did what he did and I didn't have to like it. He took me in...him and Camille saved my life. I tried to help him after she died, I tried to help with Justin. I was only a few years older than Justin was but I made sure he had three meals a day. When he would cry himself to sleep because he missed his mom I was the one to hold him so that Hank never had to.

All of the nights I fell asleep on the other side of the wall from Hank, I could hear him crying, praying...I was never brave enough to go into his room and hold him. I moved out on Justin's eighteenth birthday. He was old enough to take care of himself...and I felt like I needed to break away, to really start my career with Chicago PD. Our relationship was different after I moved out, like he no longer knew how to act around me. When he got out of jail he was able to put me on his team, with Antonio and Al...I knew it was his way to look out for me again. His way to ensure I would be safe.

Nadia told me that he had spent the night in his office the night he found out about Nick...said he spent the night staring at an old picture. When Antonio told me that he kept going back to talk to Trisha that it would wear him down, he would try to get answers from her and it would just bring up old memories...his failures, his losses. He hadn't done more than play poker with those guys in years but I knew it didn't make a difference for him. They had been friends in the past, they were like brothers...family.

Closing the case was easy, and once I finished the paperwork I went to Hank's house instead of my own. I used my key to let myself in and flipped on the lap in the entryway. I walked through the living room to his study and knew that he was sitting at his desk despite all of the other lights in the house being off. "Talk to me." I whispered as I walked purposefully towards him.

He was leaned back in his chair, hands crossed in his lap. "Erin.." he whispered with his gravely voice. I saw the pain in his eyes and knew it was now or never.

I sat down on the edge of his desk and put my hand on his knee. "Dad...please talk to me." He stared into my eyes and he slowly shook his head, fighting to keep his walls up. I leaned forward and put my hands on his shoulders and squeezed, "You promised me. When I was fifteen you promised me...just...please."

When I saw the first tear fall from his eye I pulled him forward into me, he wrapped his arms around my hips and he buried his face in my stomach. I felt his entire body shake as he cried, silently at first but his sobs and moans got louder. Decades of the pain he had been holding in was pouring out. As hard as it was for me to hold him, to see someone I tried to see as impenetrable to be here broken I knew it was harder for him to let it go.

As the room slowly got lighter his sobs got quieter. I knew he was exhausted, spent, totally vulnerable for the first time I think since his father had been killed. "You should sleep." I whispered as I ran my fingers through his short gray hair.

"Will you stay?" He asked me without picking up his head.

"Of course." When he picked up his head and tried to sit up straight he was too tired to balance. "Dad?"

"Tonight is the first time you have called me that." He said wobbling in the office chair.

"You need to sleep. Nick's funeral is in a few hours and you cant even sit up straight."

"You will stay?"

I nodded again and grabbed his hand, "go up and go to bed, you are too old for all nighters."

I led him up the stairs and helped to tuck him into his bed, I had only been in his room once in all the time I had lived there, when they brought Camille home from the hospital to die in her own bed...I sat in there with her, with Justin, and with Hank as she took her last breathes. The room had not changed, her robe was still laying across the chair at the edge of the bed. When he saw me looking at it he smiled, "I am a creature of habit Erin...her toothbrush is still in the bathroom too. I haven't been able to get rid of anything...if I close my eyes and pray real hard it is like she is still here with me."

"Why haven't you ever said anything?"

"I couldn't."

"But you can now?"

"It isn't easy."

"Please don't stop." I said walking over to him as he sat down on his bed, I kissed his forehead.

"Thank you for not giving up on an impossible old man." He said as he laid his head down on his pillow.

"I'll be in my room if you need me...try to get some sleep." I said as I walked away from him. I turned off the light and whispered, "Thank you for being my Dad."

"Thank you for being my daughter." He said already half asleep. I pulled the door partially closed after me and walked around the corner and into my room. I fell asleep listening to his soft snores through the wall and thanking God for bringing us together as a family.

Hank Voight was my father. He had rescued me, saved me, turned my life around and made me who I am today. I was determined to help him find his smile again, even if it was just a secret smile. I owed that man my life.


	2. Chapter 2

I stayed with Hank a couple more nights after the funeral, I needed to make sure he was okay. No one should be alone in grief, alone in pain. He left before I did every morning, never said a word at work but every time his eyes met mine he would smile.

"Whats the deal with him?" Antonio asked me after he had walked into the office. I shrugged my shoulders, "Gimme a break Lindsay something happened between you two... I've never seen him smile like that."

"I have but not since..." Alvin started As he turned to look at me questioningly.

"Since when?" Jay piped in, even he did not know I had been staying with him.

I glared at Al but he answered anyway, "since Camille was still alive."

"Enough. Just drop it, he has been through enough this week." I said changing the subject just in time for him to walk out of the office and got us all going on a new case.

In the car a couple hours later Jay wouldn't stop staring at me, "just ask." I told him while shaking my head.

"Are you two...hooking up?"

"God no! He is my Dad for crying out loud."

"He keeps smiling at you and you used to live with him..."

"Thought he could use family this week." I answered hoping it would be enough.

"Seriously Linds you expect that to fly? Cut the crap. Something changed...you were so pissed at him..."

"He is my Dad...when Camille died...it almost killed him...he shut off his humanity...when Antonio told him Nick was killed..."

"Dawson said he started cryin on the roof...said it weirded him out."

"Anyways, after we closed the case I went by to check on him...he has no one lookin out for him."

"Uh huh."

"I called him Dad for the first time...that is why he keeps smiling at me. You happy?"

"I know that isn't the whole story."

"You can get the rest from him. I dare you to try."

"Whatever happened to partners tell each other everything?"

"You tell me. What is going on with that hit ot on you?"

"I'm used to it."

"You are insane." I told him as we got out of the car and we're back in work mode.

That night I got a text from him while I was having dinner with Hank. I had gone to find him after the wedding...only he would understand how I was feeling without having to tell my whole life story.

He let me ramble about the puke...me covering for her...when I told him he was my family though...he knew it was different than it was the other night... This time I needed him. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me." He said...with those words it was like a dam broke.

All the tears I had been holding in my entire life...he got up and came over and shut his door and pulled the curtains then came towards me. He picked me up and then sat down and he held me like a small child. "Erin I should have done this years ago...and I really suck at the whole comfort thing but you are my daughter and the day you came into my life my whole world changed. You made me a better person, you have been here for me, for Justin through everything...your Mother is stupid...she doesnot know what she is throwing away. You are so strong Erin, so strong." He told me.

He held me until I was able to pull myself together and then he took me to Our favorite restaurants. It was nice to just go out and relax with family.

"Dad have you heard anything about Halstead?"

"More of the same. Something happen?"

"Eh he just wants me to go meet him at a bar halfway across town."

"He trying to get in your pants again?"

"He know's I am seeing Kelly." I reminded him, I don't know if seeing was the right world though, I had barely talked to him since Shay had died...

"Go see what he wants, he shouldn't be alone anyway."

"I will let you know when I get home." I said as I kissed his cheek.

"Alone Erin. When you get home alone."

"Got it Dad." I said smiling and walking out to my car.


	3. Chapter 3

I cannot believe that Justin got Olive pregnant, I cannot believe how much good the Army is doing for him. I am so proud of him, the man that he is becoming. It is my fault that it has taken this rough path to get him to where he is now, if his mother would have been here everything would have been different. After she died I...I checked out on reality. I went into survival mode, but to be honest I was not surviving. I was taking my grief and fears out on people rather than protecting the city I was meant to protect. The last decade has been in a fog. The only bright spots were watching Justin grow, until I saw all that he had been keeping from me...and Erin...to see her turn from that scared, stubborn little girl into the amazing woman she was today...she has always been my bright spot. She gave me hope when I had nothing to live for. She reminded me to love Justin, to love her, to love myself...I just never saw it until now.

After giving Justin Camille's ring...the ring that I thought I had lost forever...I realized I needed to talk to her. I needed to see my daughter and tell her the difference she had made for me, for our family. I needed to thank her. When I finally called her she answered on the first ring, I could tell she was out with Jay and Antonio and the rest of the team and for a moment I was jealous they were all out together and I was home...but that was how it should be...I was their boss...I was not their friend...I had made their lives miserable on more than one occasion and it was no surprise that I had not been invited to go hang out at Molly's...I had threatened half of their friends for God's sake...what was wrong with me?

"Hello? Hank are you there? Is everything okay?" I heard being yelled into the phone and it took a second for me to come back to reality.

"I'm here...everything is uhhh fine. Just have fun I will talk to you later." I said quickly hanging up the phone, embarrassed for having called in the first place. Who was I to ask for help...to need someone to talk to...I wish I had never started to push people away after Camille died. She was my life. She kept me straight...after she was gone I...well...I did some things that I was not proud of.

I was interrupted from my thoughts by Erin walking into my living room followed closely by Jay and the rest of the team. "What the hell Hank?" She yelled. I held up my hand to try and get her to quiet down, "I thought something happened again. You scared the shit out of me. What is going on that you call me at one in the morning? You never call me..."

Here we go...now or never, I saw as Jay put his hand on her shoulder holding her back trying to calm her down, I was momentarily grateful but pissed off at the same time. "Erin my office now." I growled.

She followed me into my office and I shut the door and watched as the other guys all sat down around in my living room. I could see the wheels turning in Erin's mind, my thoughts drifted back to her tucking me in at night and the look on her face when she saw me tied up on the floor of that nasty room. I sunk down in my office chair and sighed, "You always had a way of making things into a production." I mumbled, wiping my hand across my eyes fighting back the urge to break down. I needed her...I didn't need the audience sitting in my living room.

"Dad what is going on?" She asked me as she walked around the side of my desk perching herself in front of me, as she did once before. When she reached her hand out and put it on my shoulder that was it...I felt the tears sliding down my cheek before I even knew I had started to cry. Everything I had been holding in since Olive showed up at my door telling me she was pregnant with my grandchild was pouring out. "I keep telling you that you have a team to lean on...a team you built." She whispered as she pulled my hair forcing me to look up at her. "You said you were going to spend the night with Justin so what happened between when we all left the office and now?"

"I gave him her ring." I answered. "She should be here not me..."I whispered.

"Camille would have made an amazing grandma Hank but you are going to make a great Grandpa too." She told me. "You are getting soft at your old age." She threw in, I couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks Kid." I grumbled. "Sorry to have pulled you away..."

"You want to go back with us? Have a drink...on me?" Erin asked me.

"You know I can't go in there."

"I know a way that you can."

"I doubt Casey would listen to me...and he shouldn't...some of the things I did Erin...fuck." I said as I put my head back in my hands.

"Forgiveness Hank...it is worth a shot right? I can set it up for you if you want...just tell me when."

"Are you and Jay hooking up?" I asked her, quickly changing the subject.

"Does it matter?" She asked me with a smart ass look on her face.

"I just want to keep both of you safe."

"You cant run our lives for us...we are a team. Al has been living in his wife's garage for a decade now, Laura left Antonia with the kids because of the job...Adam and Kim are figuring it out...if...and I said IF, Jay and I were to get together we both at least understand what it means to be in this unit."

"I just need you to stay safe." I told her again.

"You can't protect me forever."

"I can sure as hell try."

"And I can sure as hell open up this damn office door so the entire team can see you with tears running down your cheek and see that you are a fucking human."

"Erin..."

"What are you so scared of?" I had no answer...at least not one that she would accept. "The people out there...when you were missing...ALL of us were freaking out."

"Erin dont..."

"No Dad...you need to hear it. Al has been your partner for like a million years and I know he is dealing with shit and so are you and yet you guys never talk about it... and Antonio...his wife left him because he chose to come back to work with us...we are a family...a fucked up family...but a family no less and it is about damn time that you figure out that you are the center of our family."

"They don't see it like that Erin." I told her.

"Then why the fuck did they all follow me here?" She said walking towards my office door. "Go out there and talk to the people on our team...we are all lost souls Hank...together we aren't as lost..." She said walking out and leaving the door open behind her. I rubbed my face in my hands and leaned back, my eyes catching a photo of my family, Camille, Justin, Erin and myself...it was taken about a month before her diagnosis...she was gone so quickly after that. Family... I had been a solo act for so long... how could I be a family man again?

"Everything okay?" I heard Jay ask Erin.

"Stubborn ass...he is a fucking stubborn ass."

"He's had a rough week." Al said.

"We all have." Antonio mumbled.

"Is he coming out?" Jay asked. I looked out the door and saw that Erin had perched herself on the armrest of the couch and Halstead had put his arm around her and had his hand resting on her leg. Maybe she was right...maybe they were a good match...maybe we were a family.

"When he pulls his head out of his ass he will be out..." I heard her say. "Or until he has to take a piss." Al quipped.

I shook my head and stood up, she was right. Too damn smart for her own good...but right. I rubbed my face again and knew that the tear stains would still be there but I just didn't care...she was right...it didn't matter. I slowly walked out into the living room and sat down in my recliner. I looked up at her and saw the ridiculous grin on her face and couldn't help but smile. When she first came to stay with us it was rare to see her smile, to see the smile reach her eyes...it was the best feeling in the world. To know that she was smiling because she had finally gotten through to me after all these years...I don't think I had ever seen her eyes so bright.

"Okay...seriously...the two of you have some weird history that I don't get and it is crap like this that freaks me out." Adam said and Erin started laughing hysterically which caused everyone else to start laughing.

A couple minutes later everyone had quieted down and Antonio asked, "How are you doing Voight, I mean really, how are you holding up?"

"It's been rough...hell I never thought I would see the day when I would become a Grandpa...thank you for sticking with me." I rambled.

"When you called Erin...why her?" Adam asked.

"She's my daughter." I said looking at her, "She has been here for me through everything...she was here when I wouldn't let her be here..."

"After your wife died you mean?" Atwood asked.

"When Camille got sick...Erin helped her so much, she took care of Justin...she took care of me...this month when Nick was killed...she knew...as pissed at me as she was...she knew...and she was here."

"Remember guys he is still going to be an asshole at work...I am just special because I suckered my way into his heart before it had a chance to freeze over." Erin said throwing a pillow at me.

"I protect my own." I said catching the pillow and looking around the room, "It is late...Justin and Olive are upstairs sleeping. You all should head home and do the same...back to work in the morning."

"Yeah Ruzek, your damn phone buzzing is driving me nuts...I think Kim is missing you." Antonio said smiling at Adam.

He tried to brush it off horribly, "You two aren't as good as you think you are at hiding things." I said shaking my head. "And you..." I said looking at Antonio, "You need to figure out what is going on with you and Laura, going out to drink every night is not helping anything."

"She wants a divorce...I don't. If I had the option of moving into her garage I would but seeing as she moved my damn kids to the burbs I don't exactly have that for an option." He said looking over at Al.

"Hey now...it has worked for years...why mess with what is working."

"That is why she is dating a family friend?"

"No one is perfect." Al said shaking his head.

"I dunno about that...I mean I am pretty perfect." Halstead blurted out. I watched as Erin scoffed and pushed him over on the couch, forgetting his arm was around her and he pulled her down onto him.

"Perfect...uh huh...perfectly delusional." Antonio said. I couldn't help but smile. My team...my family...with as much shit as they deal with everyday can still smile, still laugh with each other, cry with each other...

"Antonio can you see if you can set up a meet with Casey?" I asked.

"What? You sure Boss?"

"Yeah...it is time I make things right." I said.

"I will call Gabi tomorrow."

"Make it for a public place...you may need witnesses." Al said as he stood up. "I am going home to sleep in my bed in my garage." He said walking out the front door. Followed closely by Atwood, Ruzek and Antonio.

Jay moved over on the couch and Erin was now leaning into his shoulder, "Dad are you going to be okay tonight?" She asked me. I could see that he was uncomfortable to be in the room but to see him with her like that it made me more sure than ever that what she had said about the two of them was right.

"I will be fine. I always am."

"You will call me though if you need?" Erin asked again and I saw her pull Jay's arm around her.

"Yes Erin..." I turned to look at Jay, "you get my girl home safe." I said effectively dismissing them. Erin smiled, Jay nodded and I watched them both walk out the door.


End file.
